November Update

Hi everyone!

I just wanted to write and let you all know of a few updates and catch up on what has been happening here in Ohio.

I was originally scheduled to leave next Tuesday (yikes!) but there is no way that is happening yet! I debated between changing my tickets and just canceling them and eventually rebooking them - which would avoid going through all of this again if I still haven't raised enough support. However, it cost $50 to change - a one-time allowance - and would have cost $200 to cancel and rebook (presuming I could have found new tickets for the same price, on short notice). In light of this, I decided to just change the tickets for now, and if it doesn't happen, at least I'm only out $50.

All of which is to say, I am now planning on leaving January 19th, Lord willing. Two months seemed like a long time when I was originally planning my time at home, but now I know it will go by in the blink of an eye, especially over the busyness of the holidays. It will be so nice to be at home with my family this Christmas! I can't believe we've had snow already. It is so pretty when I'm inside. I love watching it fall and drinking hot cocoa and working on crafts. I do NOT like going outside in it, even to the mailbox! Ha ha!

I know I have informed many of you that I get 100% of the donations given through 1Hope (the link on the side of my blog). This has changed a little and they now take out 7% to cover administrative costs. It's good that it will be able to help them help us, and it really isn't much compared to what some ministries take out.

I am currently at 61% of my monthly funding. If you might be interested in supporting me, or if you know anyone who would like to hear more about our ministry, please contact me at abigailcaple@gmail.com. I'm so thankful for everyone in my life that has supported and partnered with me in this ministry so far!

Prayer requests

 - That God will lay on people's hearts a burden for orphan care

- That I will have wisdom to know how to best spend the rest of my time at home

- For the rest of my support to come in so I can return quickly to South Africa

- That I will trust in God's timing

- For God to raise up more foster parents in and around Pretoria!

Love to you all!

Auntie Abbie

Thoughts on foster care

I've been thinking a lot the last couple of days about the desperate need for more foster parents in general and in South Africa in particular.

With very few exceptions (extreme behavior issues would be one example), kids DO NOT belong in institutions. They belong in families.

I might sound a bit hypocritical when I also say that I work in a baby home. Regrettably, due to the way the process works in South Africa and the lack of families available, children often end up in a facility like ours for a while instead of going to a family right from the start (which would be the best option). We work very hard to have a low caregiver/baby ratio, keep babies with the same caregivers, and give them a very high standard of care. And most importantly of all, we work and do what we can to place babies in a family environment as soon as possible. It's not all up to us, indeed, in some cases none of it is up to us, but we do what we can to work with the social workers and the system in South Africa. We serve as a temporary landing place for babies while they find a permanent place. So that's why we aren't an orphanage and why we can't (and wouldn't want to) keep babies for years. We are technically a place of safety.

In SA, kids don't usually go into a foster home first thing - they go to a place of safety. Later on they are transferred to something more long-term if they need to remain in care. A family can be a place of safety, and later a foster home, but again - there aren't enough families to deal with the influx of kids who need homes. 

We CAN set up a baby home to be a place of safety. We CAN minister to birth moms, but we can't always fix their situations. Often they have given up their babies for reasons that go beyond not having enough money - a lot of times despite the support someone can provide externally, a birth mom still has to make her own choice to accept help and be responsible. We CAN provide information to families who want to foster and adopt. We CAN raise awareness about foster care. (We are hoping to do a conference this year!) We CAN pray, pray, pray. We CAN write blog posts that attempt to convince you that becoming a foster parent is a great idea! ;) What we CAN'T do is twist people's arms to get them to become foster families!

It takes a lot of strength to foster. It takes a lot of strength to adopt as well, but fostering presents a unique challenge in that you get attached to a child that you may or may not have to up. Sometimes you think you might keep them forever and at the last minute everything changes. Sometimes (like me) you KNOW you won't get to keep them forever, and know that is even for the best, and you STILL get attached and it's STILL hard. I have had a little one know me as Mama and stay with me and have had my heart break in two as I watched him leave, happy for him and grieving for myself at the same time. (I regret nothing.) I can still feel how so many of our babies felt in my arms. I think about them and wonder how they are doing and how big they have gotten. I haven't attached to all of them, but I have attached to a lot of them. It's different from working in a daycare because you know these babies don't have anyone, no mama to come get them at the end of the day, no one to call to come get them when they are sick, no anxious parent to hand them back to when they start crying. They are ours. I grow to love them in a special way, but I can only imagine how hard it must be to give up a child you were hoping to adopt and keep in your family forever.

Foster care is hard. It's really hard. It's not what a lot of people envision their family to be. They want permanency, stability, certainty. Dealing with birth moms is hard. Dealing with social services is hard. Attaching to a child can sometimes be hard, especially if they are older. Maybe I'm not qualified to comment extensively on how hard this all is since I haven't officially done foster care, but I know it to be true, and I wouldn't want to sugarcoat it. There's a lot of happy, sweet, fluffy stuff about orphan care floating around out there, and even though plenty of people will assure you it isn't all fluff, sometimes I think that's what the church hears. Help babies! Rescue orphans! God adopted us! All great, but orphan care involves a lot of suffering and we can't forget that. We know that children come from hard places and we expect that suffering, but sometimes we might forget just how much we might suffer and grieve while carrying out God's call.

On the other hand, we can't fear suffering. (Well, ok, we can, and anyone with a brain probably doesn't like the idea much.) But we can't let that fear stop us from doing what God might ask us to do. He might ask you to say yes to adoption. (Maybe, maybe not, everyone has a different calling.) But He might also ask you to say yes to the "maybe yes, maybe no." He might ask you to let go of a beloved child who calls you "mama." He might ask you to persist through multiple court dates and waiting, waiting, waiting, and unexpected biological family, and visits with difficult birth moms, and to show them Christ's love when it is the last thing you want to do. You might be afraid of saying yes to the wrong thing and having to live with the consequences. That does happen. But you can still make the best decision you can knowing that God is sovereign over it.

There are many things He might ask you to say yes to when it comes to orphan care. He asked me to say yes to moving halfway across the planet, to finding a new family, to working in a baby home, to NOT being in a position to adopt right now, even though I would love to do so - even when I see kids in desperate need of families every day. He asks me to say goodbye a LOT. That isn't easy. But like I said, I regret nothing.

One of the hardest things is to know (and sometimes watch) kids go into institutions long-term because there are not enough families. I can trust God's sovereignty, but I can also do everything I can to help when it comes to recruiting people! Whether you are in the U.S. or South Africa, please take some time to pray about whether there might be something to which God is asking you to say yes.

And please...don't be afraid. God is so good, and so beautiful, and so sufficient, even in the midst of suffering. He will enable you to bear whatever burden He calls you to bear...He will give you the strength, and joy and love in unexpected places.

Mirror Redo

More DIY projects! When I moved into my little room at the baby home. Joy and I inherited this (not so) lovely mirror. The edges were chipped, flecked, and in some cases broken off entirely. However, it was a mirror and we needed a mirror, so we had someone mount it on our bedroom door, which was basically the only free space. 

It was badly in need of some aesthetic help. So I went to Metro for supplies and went at it with my glue gun - the one with the world's shortest cord. Seriously, how do they even expect you to be able to use this?! 

I liked this sequined trim. I hot glued it all the way around the edge of the mirror - very simple.

It looked a lot better, but there was still the issue of that broken corner to deal with. I decided to cover it up with some fake flower/rosette things.

It's been a while since I did this project, but I think I glued the last scrap of sequin ribbon  to a cardboard square to build the corner poking out from behind the flowers - to at least create the illusion that the corner of the mirror still existed!

Finished product! 

I suppose it would have been easier to just buy a new mirror, but sometimes you just have to make do with what you have! And I like the sparkles.

Thrifted Stools DIY

In the baby home, we had several old bar stools that were heaving a dying sigh. At least one of them wobbled so much anyone sitting on it sort of looked like they were dancing from all the side-to-side motion that went on! So when I found a few sturdy, inexpensive stools at a small local thrift shop, I snatched them up. (Delightful Treasures on the corner of 14th and Malan in Gezina, for any Pretorians who are reading this - check them out!)

One of them had a rip, so after a friend's suggestion, I decided to reupholster them.

I liked this tan chevron fabric that I found at Metro, the home and crafting store in town. It was a pretty simple process. I unscrewed the tops, pried out the staples holding the lining/covering fabric on the bottom, and covered the existing black leather (probably fake leather - I don't remember) with the fabric, fastening it down with my staple gun. I decided to cover the chairs with thin but strong clear plastic sheeting (also from Metro). It was a bit tricky getting the corners right, and they aren't perfect, but I don't think my mistakes are too noticeable. Then I stapled the underlining back on and a friend with a power screwdriver put the stools back together for me. This was my first project in South Africa and I didn't have any tools yet! 

I was quite happy with the result. They've held up well over the last year and a half, despite lots of use.

Our "dining room!"

Chicken Coop

I realized I never posted about my chicken coop, and I wanted to include it on my projects page, so I figured I'd put some pictures on here! Unfortunately I left my plans back in South Africa if I saved them at all - it was mostly just some scribbling on a piece of paper, and a lot of improvisation, as pallet boards are not all the same width. I will at least draw up a diagram with some measurements when I go back!

This is the "before" picture. The idea was to clear out the jungle and put the chicken coop and run on the left. I was really grateful that we had a gardener to help clear out all those plants! It took a long time as a number of them needed to be relocated rather than just destroyed.

Honestly, I think it took several weeks just to get it to look like this:

After I had drawn up a basic plan, I started assembling the frame (on the other side of the house, where there was more light to work in the evening). I used something kind of like 2x2's, only they weren't quite square, and the measurements were in millimeters. It looks flimsy, and at times I doubted my choice in materials, but they were a lot cheaper than 2x4's, and with reinforcement they are holding up just fine.

This was before I had my own power drill, so I borrowed from a friend. I had to replace so many of their drill bits! This was one of my first projects with a drill.

It's a mess. I am thankful for everyone at MBH that put up with it! This picture shows late one night after I had assembled the frame and the floor. My original plan was to line the floor with chicken wire so the poop would fall through, but that plan failed because I couldn't pull the wire taut enough. Turns out chicken poop is big and it would have just been a nasty mess (even more so because they like to hang out underneath the coop...picture lots of poop and shavings falling on their heads), so I'm glad I decided to go with the boards. It's easy enough to clean if I keep a layer of shavings on the floor. For a while I lined it with cardboard as well, but that became too much work.

At this point I enlisted our house dad to help me carry it to its final resting place before it became too heavy to move. Here it is with the back wall on!

Here I am putting up the sides. Note my adorable "helper" watching me work!

I didn't take too many pictures for a while, but here it is with the sides, roof, and entry door. It was so hard getting the top even before I nailed the roof on! Did I mention I cut everything for this coop with a hand saw? A power saw is the next item on my tool wish list!

I wanted to build a living roof on top to economize on space and keep the coop cool. The edge boards for that, and the wood for the frame, were the only pieces of lumber I bought. Before nailing the boards in place, I took a piece of thick, clear plastic (bought it at the fabric store - I think they use it for upholstery) and tacked it down around the edge of the roof. I made the nail holes in the overhang so water wouldn't leak into the inside of the coop. Then I put down an old towel in an attempt to keep the moisture in. It didn't work. Maybe if I had better soil and lived in a wetter climate I'd actually be able to grow something, but usually it is the driest of all my gardening spots. Except when it rains a lot. It does drain well (the water seeps out the front edge, through the towel so I don't lose dirt as well) - well enough to grow mushrooms, at times - but nothing I WANT to grow seems to grow there! I think I need to find a more water-retentive soil medium.

Also, I had the doors on by this stage. Because they are made from recycled, low-quality wood, they are not super-perfect AT ALL. When it rains, they swell and stay open a crack until they dry, and when they're REALLY dry, sometimes the latch can come open and once a chicken escaped...so now I wedge a piece of paracord into the latch hole to make sure it is tight. It's...rustic.

This is what it looked like when it was finished and filled with dirt.

All painted and pretty! The red paint was great to work with. The white paint was very cheap oil paint and took four coats to cover the wood. Those doors took up quite a few hours of my life, but I was quite happy with the results. The posts are L-shaped pallet wood brackets to cover the skinny 2x2 posts. Sometimes they weren't quite straight and I had to wedge in scrap wood and screw it all together to make it sturdy. The little ladder in the front came from who-knows-where - it's too short for a bunkbed! - and is just the right size to give me access to the roof.

I have chicken wire over the windows to keep the chickens from pecking at the flowers in the window boxes. My African friends think it's hilarious that my chickens have window boxes with flowers, but I love them - even if they don't retain moisture any better than the roof...

The side door latches so I can keep chickens out (when I'm cleaning) or in (when I was training them to go into the coop at night).

I used masking tape and a ruler to do these doors. This blog post was my inspiration!

This door was meant to give me access to the nesting boxes. Turns out it's way easier to just go in the front door!

After I removed the back rail, though, this door makes cleaning the nesting boxes much easier. Especially since all they like to do in the back box is poop.

I used an old branch from the yard as a roost. It looks cool, but honestly, I just didn't want to buy yet another piece of lumber!

I put a roof over the top of my nesting boxes. They need an enclosed space, so it's a good thing there is a roof, but this is my least favorite thing in the coop to clean. They get SO much poop on that thing and it's really hard to scrape off the wood. I can't put shavings on top because they would just fall off. So I generally line it with an old feed sack - I have to wedge it underneath the roof. It keeps it from getting too gross, I can scrape the poop off, and I change it out every so often. Kudos to Mama Linda for the idea of using a feed sack underneath the roost!

I ended up putting a net over the roof to keep hungry birds away.

The coop itself took a bit more work and required help from our 1Hope handyman, and the MBH gardener who is studying farming. I can build things, but I'm not very good at sinking fence poles, and I don't have the tools to drill into concrete. I did build the doors myself, and I helped assemble the coop, with a lot of zip ties, baling wire, and a staple gun. We put a roof over the coop to keep stray cats away.

Silly chickens would rather roost on the floor!

Happy chickens in the shade underneath the coop. I later got an automatic feeder and a waterer, and they are SUCH a time saver.

One of the biggest after-construction problems is that it looks like this after it rains:

Apparently we significantly disturbed the natural water flow of this corner of land when we removed the plants and smoothed out the area for the chicken coop. It does dissipate quickly, but it makes taking out the trash a very wet affair on days when it rains heavily. We do have a little brick path under all that water (actually, that is probably part of what makes that side lower) but no drain.

I love having chickens in the city! It's so much fun. They provide us with a lot of entertainment and many eggs.