US Visit/Malawi Missions Trip

It's been a long time since I've written a blog post (sorry!) so I'm going to divide this summer (or winter, depending on which hemisphere you live in) into two blog posts.

I had a nice time visiting the States for two months, although it was pretty busy and the paperwork was very overwhelming! I did manage to get all the visas mentioned in my last blog post, although not without a lot of prayer, hard work, tears in some cases, and occasionally some rather unconventional methods! (You'll hear about that later on when I talk about the Malawi trip...)

I applied for the Malawi visa first, and called the Malawi consulate in DC an undetermined but excessive number of times to make sure the visa was, indeed, approved and coming back to me within a certain time frame. I'd like to give a shout out to Agnes, who appears to be the only employee working there or at least the only one answering the phone, for her patience with me. By the end of the process, she recognized my home and cell numbers and started answering the phone "hello, Abbie." Someone needs to give that lady a raise.

While in process for that visa, I finished compiling all the papers necessary for my South African visa. My friend and host in Chicago was also very patient with me as I couldn't nail down exact travel dates until less than a week before my arrival! I drove down on a Sunday, submitted paperwork on Monday, and drove back on Tuesday...which sounds simple, but it wasn't!

Sunday went well, although I probably arrived a little later than anticipated as there was a lot of roadwork on the way there. It was so nice to see my friend Kristine (from the Bible discipleship school I attended eight years ago) and catch up with her.

The plan was for me to leave Monday morning in plenty of time to apply for my visa. "Plenty of time" doesn't always end up happening with me, particularly when catching up with an old friend, and I left a bit late - although not before booking my parking on an app as per her recommendation. This was a really good thing because I paid about $7 as opposed to $30. (Chicago is not kind to the budget!)

I could not find my parking at first and circled the same block multiple times before realizing the parking garage was actually underground and Maps wasn't trying to completely confuse me. I managed to get in and park, but when I got out on the street I couldn't find the consulate! It was raining and I was wearing multiple layers and running up and down the crowded sidewalk...with an umbrella, causing quite the spectacle. I probably ran at least a mile, back and forth, before I finally found the consulate and burst inside, roasting hot, wet, sweaty, and not smelling so great. It was ten minutes before closing time.

The list of necessary paperwork had apparently changed, although thankfully, I had brought along a couple of the extra things not listed - just in case, or I just "happened" to have them on me, like my South African health insurance card. They weren't happy with my bank statements because I'd given them the ones that didn't show regular activity, so they sent me to the FedEx around the corner to go print more and to copy my insurance card. I spent more in that print shop than I ever have spent to print anything before - they charge you by the minute for your internet use as well!

However, I finally managed to compile everything I needed and headed back to the consulate, which graciously allowed me to come in and submit the necessary papers even though the visa submission hours had closed for the day. That was kind of nerve-wracking, however, as the person receiving them didn't seem very happy with my application and was possibly concerned that I was trying to retire to South Africa. (What??) I left the consulate with a nagging fear that perhaps my visa wouldn't go through this time.

I spent the rest of the day at a conservatory enjoying the flowers (yay! Something free in Chicago!) and visited several thrift stores and "Al's Under the L" takeaway while I waited for my friend to come home from work. It was a much nicer afternoon than morning.

I headed back Tuesday afternoon, braved all the roadwork again (I listened to the first book in the Ashtown Burials series by N.D. Wilson - I would highly recommend them!) and arrived back late that evening.

The next two weeks were spent visiting my friends in North Carolina and Minnesota! It was so nice to get a chance to catch up.

Sarah and I (above) and Anna (below). My girls are getting so big now!! You can read our story here.

My best friend has a BABY! I'm an auntie...well, I have been an auntie for years but now I am one again!

Shortly after returning from Minnesota in the beginning of June, I received my self-addressed envelope in the mail with my passport. I opened it in anticipation, to discover that my visa said it was valid for three months - not three years!

To say I was shaken would be an understatement. I didn't know what had happened, particularly since the expiry date on the visa wasn't for another three years. That led me to think it might be a mistake, but mostly, I was just freaking out. My life here is basically my whole world...and it was very difficult to trust God with the thing most precious to me. That night was pretty tough as I waited to call the consulate the next morning and see if they had made a mistake.

I was reminded of one time in church when our pastor asked us to write down the one thing that mattered most to us, that was the most valuable, and leave it under our seat when we left as a sign that we were surrendering it to God. I didn't do it because, quite frankly, I told myself it was silly, but honestly, that in itself was probably a pretty good diagnosis of my heart attitude.

It was one of the more unpleasant 24-hour periods of my life, but all in all, I can be thankful that God is working in me and loves me too much to allow anything to take precedence over Him...even working for Him and relationships with the church. And, I was very happy to discover the next morning that they had made a mistake and I could send my passport in for correction immediately! Please join me in praying, however, that I will somehow, some way be able to obtain paperwork that is more stable than a volunteer visa!

It was good to be able to spend time with my family while I was home. My grandma was not doing so well at assisted living so we moved her to a nursing home, which was difficult. It took a long time to get her dementia medicine sorted. She seems to be doing a lot better now, for which we are grateful.

Out for ice cream - my birthday and the day we moved her

Cousins!

Hiking with friends

What with one thing and another, two months flew by very quickly and soon it was the end of June! I flew to South Africa on a Monday, arrived Tuesday, and went to Joburg on Wednesday to apply for my Mozambique visa. This took all day and required catching a ride at 5:30 AM and using public transport to come back, as my car was out of commission. I packed for Malawi that night after small group - with probably the least amount of forethought/effort I've ever put into a multi-country trip. Food for the bus trip (besides snacks)? That would have been nice. I'm pretty sure I can never look a chili cheese puff in the eye again...

Anyway, by the time we left at 5:30 AM for the bus the next day (I overslept - my body apparently couldn't take the sleep deprivation one day longer) I was very, very ready to sit and do nothing, if not for the entire 34 hour trip duration, at least for a while.

Boarding the bus

34 hours is a long time. Especially when you're basically subsisting on chili cheese puffs and coconut biscuits. At least that helped with the toilet situation. Since we rode the "nice" bus, we had a toilet. This toilet, however, could only be used for #1, which meant that we needed to time all other bathroom needs according to the schedule - and let me tell you, those buses hold a LOT of petrol, so it became a game of "whose tank is bigger?"....I had the cheese puffs working in my favor, though, so I ended up making it without any serious incidents.

There was a bit of a scare at the SA/Zimbabwe border where I was told I might not be able to get the Zim transit visa. Thankfully there was nothing to the warning and I was actually able to obtain one that was good for the return trip as well. I've been to Zim now and I have the papers to prove it, but it was dark both going and coming back, so I really haven't seen anything of the country besides a very questionable toilet in Harare in the middle of the night. I'm a bit sad that that, and the tumble dryer effect as the bus tried to make up time, are the only memories I have of that country. Hopefully someday I'll get a chance to return and see more!

We made it past the notoriously corrupt Zim/Mozambican border, although not without temporarily leaving half of our party behind when they went to go brush their teeth. The officials wouldn't let them walk across, but they were able to catch a ride on another bus and meet us at the next checkpoint, 100 yards or so down the road. We traveled through what is very much the "back country" of Mozambique, NOT the tourist area (very little in the way of towns at all, actually) and it was an enjoyable drive with a lot to see. I'm pretty sure my phone was dead by this point, so I couldn't take pictures.

We arrived at the Mozambique/Malawi border and stood around in a huddle for a long time while pickpockets, hawkers and beggars circled us like the prey we were. None of us lost anything - we were very careful, but I saw someone rob one of the vendors and run away. Someone bought a SIM card and some airtime from one of the vendors and we were able to call our host, who was on the way to pick us up. Hooray for skipping out on the rest of the bus ride!

Avoiding pickpockets like the pros

We very much enjoyed the ten days we spent there! If I'd been a faithful blogger, I would have done this a lot sooner and given you a day-by-day account, but this post is already getting kind of long so I'll just give you the highlights.

Obviously one of the best parts was getting to stay with the Chilingulos. It was so nice to be able to catch up with them and they were wonderful hosts, welcoming us into their lives with them, power outs and all. (There are a lot of power outs in Malawi - usually every day.) I loved getting to know people from the church there as well. Reformation Bible Church has 30-odd members, if I remember correctly, and most of them are in the young adult age group. We attended several conferences/seminars with them, including some that Donovan taught at the church and a marriage conference at a Bible school.

The Chilingulos - Newton, Vanessa, Chisomo, and Karabo

Church

Chisomo helping (or maybe just being cute) at a conference

On Saturday, we attended a prison ministry headed up by a local pastor. It was so cool to see how God is working even in the darkest of places. We were not allowed to take phones inside, so there are no pictures, but there were probably a hundred or so men there, eager to praise God. Maybe not all of them are serious, or some of them are putting it on, but there is definitely change happening in a number of men. Some of them even finished serving their time and went on to seminary. The man who heads it up is a former inmate and some of the current inmates play major roles in the prison church there.

We spent several afternoons during the week doing evangelism at a local teachers' college and on the street. This is not my strong suit and I was encouraged by how eager the members are RBC are to share the Gospel! It made me nervous, but it was great to do it alongside them, even if they were WAY better at it than me!

We also enjoyed a day out at Lake Malawi. We stopped on the way for some street food - "chiwaya" - which is potatoes cooked in a fryer that looks kind of like a sink, and meat - in our case, goat intestines - which I did try! Deep fried, they aren't too bad, although I did leave most of them for the people who REALLY enjoyed them...=) I forgot sunscreen, and of course no one had any because I was one of the few people there who was actually capable of getting a sunburn...but somehow I managed to escape without one. The water was too cold and rough to actually swim but we enjoyed spending the day together and playing games.

On the way

The chiwaya place

Visiting friends - Mercy (far right) was an intern here at MBH and we had dinner at her house.

Visiting a carpentry business run by a guy from RBC. There are a number of people from the church who have started businesses that seem to be thriving and it's cool to see!

I can't keep up with the men when it comes to eating pap...haha!

Two of my teammates

Saturday night (after the marriage conference) we spent doing outreach at a local music festival. A couple people from the church were singing/rapping there, but the festival as a whole wasn't entirely Christian. No alcohol was officially allowed on the grounds, but I'm pretty sure half the attendees were drunk. Never have I ever been proposed to/hit on so many times in my life. The guy manning the booth with me was deep in some soul-winning conversation so I banded as many of the ladies around me as possible for backup...I managed to get out WITH my purse and WITHOUT a ring on my finger, so I'd say it was a success or at least not a complete disaster.

One of my favorite parts of Malawi? The signs!

The meaning of this sign is slightly unclear....haha!

Look, Shoprite has made it to Malawi!

Also seen (I didn't manage to take pictures) were:

Cc's God's Chosen Cosmetics and Salon

God's Time Barbershop

God's Will Car Wash

God is Wonderful General Plumbing Works

God First Furniture and Joinery Workshop

Praise God Kennedy Butchery

Blessings Shoppings

Lost but Found Halaal Butchery

In Christ Salon and Cosmetics

No Blackout Salon and Barbershop

Let God Be God Shop

Highly Favoured Cosmetics

Rock of Ages Takeaway

Praise God Shop

I enjoyed my week in Lilongwe! There was always something new to see when we went out for a drive!

I would be remiss to avoid mentioning the entire Mozambican Visa Ordeal, which definitely deserves to be capitalized. As I mentioned in my last blog post, I needed a return transit visa for Mozambique, and I needed to apply for it in Malawi. The timeline went something like this.

Monday: Show up at consulate. Realize we didn't check hours for visa submission. Consulate is closed.
Tuesday: Show up at consulate. Realize they won't let me in wearing flip flops ("slipers" and "bere muscles" were both apparently on the banned list), so I need to wear either Newton's or Garakai's shoes. I ended up wearing both of them, at different times, getting blisters, and making memories!

Garakai was stuck wearing my flip flops throughout this whole process...

Apply for visa. Realize that all that Malawian currency I just pulled out is not accepted because I'm not Malawian. They want USD. I have $20, not $50, so we need to find a place to exchange money. One place you have to have an account. Another place only has $100 bills and $8 in change. I don't want to trade money on the black market, so we have to drive all the way across town to somewhere where we can exchange money. (Let me take a moment to mention that Newton - our host - was an absolute saint throughout this entire frustrating process!!) Return, submit money for visa, which will come out Thursday.
Thursday: Went to Lake Malawi and made arrangements for it to be picked up, but it accidentally didn't get picked up.
The person felt really bad and totally went out of the way to help us, which culminated in a crazy weekend where we went and picked up the lady who ran the consulate after church on Sunday (we had to pay a bike taxi to show us her house), drove her to her boss's house to get the keys, drove to the consulate where we got my passport (yay! although I was feeling less than victorious at this point...just exhausted!), drove to the bank so I could pull money and give her a tip, then drove her back home. Oh, but the Sunday afternoon sounds uneventful? Throw in the fact that she was called "Mai Apostle" and ran her own church. The two very tactful, very kind, but very Reformed guys in the vehicle with me waited till I had my passport in my hand before they started in on the questions...😉

We headed back home that next week. I'd like to say the bus trip back was uneventful, but at least one of our members was nearly detained and thrown in a hospital for ten days to prove that she didn't have yellow fever from being in Zambia six months prior (i.e., they were looking for a bribe...) After that rather nerve-wracking scenario, we managed to finish out the rest of the trip and make it home, tired but all in one piece and not stuck in the back of a Mozambican police station or some hospital somewhere. All in all it was a very memorable trip!

April/May

Hey everyone!

I'm writing to you from Ohio this month. I didn't have time to do the usual wrap-up post at the end of the month in April, so I'm getting to it now. I've been running around doing visa paperwork and packing and preparing to come home for my two-month furlough. I just made it back to the States on Wednesday, and I'm mostly over my jet lag. I think my body is just finally glad to get eight hours of sleep every night! I have a bad habit of staying up too late at MBH - it's so nice when it's quiet and everyone has gone to bed!

I will be here for two months, but I think I will be anything but bored. I'm looking forward to spending as much time with people as I can, and I will be traveling a lot. I'll also be working on my paperwork to get my three-year South African visa again. (I wish I could just get permanent residency, but it's not that easy, short of a South African husband, or critical skills, neither of which I possess.) In addition to my SA visa, I'm also working on getting a short-term visa to Malawi, as I hope to be traveling there with our church for a few weeks after I go back. We have a church plant in Lilongwe - I used to live with the pastor and his wife, Newton and Vanessa Chilingulo, the first year I was at the baby home, before they left. They adopted the first baby ever to come to MBH. They now have a baby boy as well!

Chiso is so big now!  This is her when we lived together in 2014:

You can read more about Mission Malawi here: 

https://livinghopechurch.co.za/mission-malawi/

(If you are looking for a church plant to support, it's a great one!)

The paperwork chasing for all the visas I need is very involved! I have to have the most papers for my South African visa, and I have almost all of them, except I didn't realize my South African police clearance expired in April. It takes two weeks or maybe a bit longer to come out, and I was only able to submit my fingerprints a couple of days before I left. So, I'm going to have to have my friend pick it up and mail it to me (it can come in two days, but it's pricey and I'm kicking myself for not checking the date). It's taking longer than I would have hoped so I'll need to apply for the Malawi visa first, which means I need to buy my bus ticket before that...yikes! 

I also need a visa for each country I'm traveling through on the way there - Zimbabwe and Mozambique. Apparently the Zim visa is easy to get at the border, but I need to apply for the Mozambique transit visa in advance - but not too far in advance - I tried to get it before I left and it would have expired three days before we are set to leave! Also, it's only one-way so I have to apply for the return transit visa from Malawi.  I'm planning on getting back in SA Tuesday, June 26th, and leaving for Malawi on the 28th (yes, yes, jet lag and then a 20+ hour bus trip, I know) so I'll need to apply for my visa that Wednesday...basically, it's all crazy and if you'd all pray that everything happens promptly and I can manage my time well and everything clears for me to go this year, that would be SUPER appreciated! (And if you want to pray that someday a way opens up for me to gain residency, well then, many of these problems would disappear! Ha!)

I am enjoying being home for a visit, although I'm missing my home in South Africa as well. The quiet just doesn't feel natural! The garage sales, however, feel more than natural =D and I'm excited about how far I can stretch my budget with those opportunities! I've also been enjoying spring in Ohio - apparently it warmed up just for me, as it was snowing just a week or two ago. The dandelions and the violets are everywhere and the trees are budding and flowering. I'm eating all my favorite foods (I've already started my goal of eating my weight in Ranch dressing) and I'm really looking forward to meeting up with as many of my friends as possible! Please let me know if you want to get together - I'd love to hang out with any and all of you!

I have several trips coming up. I'm flying to Minneapolis, Minnesota at the end of May-beginning of June for a week. That trip is already scheduled. I'm driving to Chicago within the next couple weeks (as soon as my papers all come together) because I am now required to submit my visa in person. I'm also planning on flying down to Raleigh, NC for a couple days to visit a friend. 

I'm also able to spend some time with my grandma while I'm home - she's getting older and has dementia, so whether she remembers me or not depends on the day (well, more like the minute!) but even though she's not doing so well mentally, she sometimes still makes us laugh.

Me: Grandma, do you want to see pictures of my babies?

Grandma:...are you married?

Me: (shows Grandma a video of four- and six-year-old boys from our church)

Grandma: Is that your boyfriend?

I think it's safe to say she has my marital status on the brain! Ha!

In addition to visa paperwork, I'm hoping to do a little more fundraising while I'm home! I'm a bit over 80% fully funded and I'm planning on going back regardless of whether I hit 100% or not, but if anyone is interested in supporting me monthly, I would be happy to discuss anything and everything with you! I work in a ministry position, and no, they don't pay me - I've had various people ask me that. MBH itself operates on donations, and my position frees them up from hiring another caregiver, so it helps them out that I can raise my own support. Paying the electric bill, paying salaries for the ladies from our church who work there, and buying formula/nappies/etc is enough of a financial burden for them. (If you'd like to donate to them, you can do that here: https://1hopeministries.org/donate/. If you'd like to donate towards my support, you can look on the right sidebar of my blog for that information.)

If you have any questions about our ministry in South Africa, what it's like to live there, etc, please let me know! I'd always love to talk to anyone who wants to learn more!

March

Well, it's been a couple of months since I gave a thorough update on my life, so I'll do my best!

In February, I enjoyed attending yet another wedding of a dear friend. It was a lot of fun and looked kind of like Pinterest in real life, complete with hay bales and a picnic reception by a pond. She looks awfully happy but we miss having her around at Living Hope!

A friend and I at the wedding

Also, in other news, the vegetables are surprised.

The babies are doing well! L is getting so big. He's 17 months old now and a very active little guy. He likes to play with other babies and toddlers who live here (well, the 8 month old irritates him because she steals his toys!) He enjoys swinging, watching shows, and EATING to fuel his endless energy! He spends most of the day running back and forth like a bouncy ball...sometimes with his eyes closed, which he thinks is really fun! He's saying a few words - "thank you," "showtime," "hallelujah" etc but he sings more than he talks (and we can usually tell the song he is singing!) This month he got to go on a field trip and see cows!

Baby "R" is getting so big and is super advanced for her age! She's not quite 8 months but she's pulling to a stand and crawling. She will chase L all the way across the room if she wants his toy, and makes a beeline for any open doors! She definitely thinks she's one of the big kids. She has two teeth and is eating solids, although she HATES green beans!

Some babies went home this month (yay!) and now we have a whole bunch of newborns!

Sweet baby T is about six weeks old. She likes to be carried in a baby wrap. She cries a lot, which is pretty normal for her age, although we are trying to see if maybe a different formula will help! She's growing fast and getting a bit chubby!

Baby K is actually a bit older than T, but she came to us after T did. She likes sleeping a bit more than her "sister" but also enjoys being held!

Baby B is our newest (and tiniest!) addition! He's about two weeks old and is so snuggly. We are happy to have a baby boy in our house of girls!

There has been a LOT of babywearing. I've gotten quite proficient at putting two newborns in a wrap - although here I just have one. Somehow they always want to be awake while the toddler is sleeping! Gotta do what you gotta do to get the house clean!

Tadi (our house parents' baby) is getting bigger (and more stubborn - haha) and talking a lot! She loves her babies and like a good mom, doesn't discriminate between her children, even if one looks a lot like Anakin Skywalker, or, as Gogo Linda likes to call it "the policeman"...

Our rough-and-tough-looking crew out for a ride!

Big T is growing! He's always saying something funny...

T: (singing) I love me, you love me, we're a happy fal-a-meeeee.....

Me: (puts on makeup) 

T: Good job, Abbie, good job! You so cute!

Me: Hey, guys!

T: Hey, Guy Abbie!

I am coming home to renew my visa at the end of April/beginning of May, so I hope to see some of you then! I will be home about two months. I'm excited to visit the States but also sad to leave my home here behind. 

Learning to love

I decided to do a bit of a different update this time (since I don't have very many pictures anyway) and write something about what God has been doing here, in my heart and in my life.

I'm here at the library again - the view isn't fabulous or anything but I'm enjoying the quiet! I have about an hour before it closes, though, so I might finish this later...gotta get home and get dinner ready for one little one who will be eagerly waiting for food!

He stays busy allll day! It's no wonder he eats as much as he does!

I mentioned in the last blog post about how difficult the last few months have been. But what has been amazing to see is how God has been working through all of it. When everything was starting, I was pouring out my heart to a good friend...explaining that I felt like the spiritual baby of 1Hope. Or, well, maybe a toddler, but light years behind everyone else. I definitely don't feel mature. Her response? "Well, maybe this is the year you grow up." (This definitely has more of an "ouch!" factor when I write it out like that, but trust me, it was done in love...)

Now, while I certainly do not consider that I've grown up in the last two or three months (ha!) I can see God working in these trials. I'd say a consistent theme of even the last six months has been learning to love. Learning to love others, learning to love Him and rely first and foremost on Him, learning to love the Gospel in deeper ways than I have before.

What does it mean to love? I'm still figuring this out, but as far as I can tell, it's not so hard to love when it's something you want to do. Oh, don't get me wrong, the person doesn't have to be someone who is hurting you (although I've been there too), sometimes they can just be...boring. Really? You need a nappy change AGAIN? You're whining AGAIN? (Yes, I grasp the irony of complaining about complaining, and more often than not the reason I'm singing the "Do Everything Without Complaining" song is not so much for the whiny toddler as it is for myself!) It doesn't have to be a...

Ok, here is the point where I had a great second half and the poor library wifi didn't back it up and I came home and accidentally closed the wrong tab and lost it all and then people were playing loud music and I had to fight the temptation to not completely contradict everything I'm writing today...

...just keeping it real...

The person who is hard to love doesn't have to be someone who is deliberately difficult. It could be a whiny toddler or a screaming baby. It could be that new person at church, or the person you've known forever but never really talk to or get to know. It could be someone who disagrees with you, someone who pushes your buttons even when they aren't trying, someone who has different expectations of your behavior than you do. (Cross-cultural ministry for sure!) It could be someone who actually is sinning against you, although it might be someone who isn't. More often than not, if I find someone difficult to love, I find that has more to do with myself and my own heart than with the other person.

So, what does love look like? 1 Corinthians 13 does an excellent job of explaining, and I won't presume to improve upon it, but it might be helpful to see how it plays out in daily life. It doesn't always look like warm, fuzzy feelings, in fact, often it doesn't, although those are nice and I appreciate them when they are there.

For me, love looks (or should look) a lot like...

...cleaning up vomit for the fourth time in a meal, without losing my temper, even when I have a sneaking suspicion the child is making himself throw up on purpose.

...pursuing reconciliation when I sense a breach in the relationship, even if it means I have to be a little awkward and admit my own failure.

...not getting irritated when someone shoves me away from the sink yet again without asking. (I'm not sure if this is a cultural thing, or a byproduct of having four people perpetually cooking four different meals in the kitchen all at the same time...)

...not losing it when someone screams for an hour at 2 am. (The someone is a one year old, not an adult, just in case you were wondering. Although after a while one does feel like crying along with them!)

...answering a thousand questions in a day, even ones that seem super obvious. 

...accepting that my culture doesn't always have the one right way to do things.

...loving people even when they intentionally sin against me.

...not letting someone's behavior determine whether or not I show kindness and love to them.

...cleaning up a lot of bodily fluids.

...saying goodbye to a baby when I know it's for their best.

...loving a baby even when I know I'm going to have to say goodbye.

...giving lots of rides. Not ALL the rides, but lots of rides.

...eating meals together.

...asking questions, good ones, that clue me in to how someone's life is really going.

...washing someone's dishes, even if I rarely see them washing my dishes.

...showing grace. Helping clean up messes that don't belong to me, not just physical messes, although believe me, I clean up a lot of those too.

...patience, trusting God to change someone and knowing I can't.

...looking for ways to spend time with people. 

...not answering back when I'm irritated.

...telling someone I love them and encouraging them. Life is too short to keep your mouth shut when you shouldn't. Look at how Paul wrote to the churches! I've been memorizing Philippians and this strikes me.

...refraining from gossip.

...believing the best.

...making an effort to build friendships with people I don't naturally click with.

...not being shocked by sin, but remembering that my sin, too, put Christ on the cross. Loving through pain. By loving someone, I may be willingly taking on a hurtful situation, one where I am hurt again and again, but really, I had someone who took the nails for me. Any pain I experience is far less, and it is a privilege to be able to share His suffering even in a small way. God gives grace, and endurance, and joy.

...doing the hard or awkward or inconvenient thing, the thing that encroaches into my free time. Giving of my time and my money and my resources and my life.

...speaking the Truth, because the Word of God is living and active and more powerful than any two-edged sword, because God alone has the power to bring the dead to life, the power to change hearts, and He uses His Word to work miracles. Speaking the Truth because the Gospel is beautiful and I want to see redemption, to see something beautiful, to watch as God takes my breath away.

...speaking the Truth even when I don't see the results, and trusting God with it.

...giving of my emotional energy until I am left feeling so drained I realize only Christ can fill me...and, to be honest, there's no better place to be than in realization of my full reliance on Him. I rest, yes, but I have to remember where my deepest rest lies. 

...resting in Christ and going to sleep in peace because I know that I can trust him with whatever tomorrow brings in my relationships with others...even if I sometimes struggle to believe that.

"Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14

December/January

I never got to writing the posts for December, so I will do my best to fill you in this month! I'm currently sitting at the library in town and it is SO blissfully quiet compared to trying to write during the day at MBH! Ha ha!

These last two months have been full. I know I say that every time I write an update, but it is even more the case than usual. December holidays happened, I took a trip to Durban (my first real vacation in South Africa!), and a good friend got married. In addition to all these blessings, we went through a lot of hardship. My dear friend, mentor, and pastor's wife, mom of nine kids, was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. Other friends from our church suffered losses as well, family members seriously ill and unexpected death. Difficulties in relationships and watching dear friends go through hardship and suffering I'd never wish on anyone. Uncertainties regarding our babies' futures. Life has been raw and real but through the midst of it all is woven the golden thread of God's grace and strength and love, sustaining us and binding us ever closer as a family, even when we are hurting and when we hurt each other. I won't lie, the last two months have been painful, but I am slowly watching God breathe life into the ashes of pain, bringing growth and redemption...working His perfect plan even when life hurts.

I'm grateful that we have still had a lot of joyful moments over the last two months!

Traditional wedding in Durban

All dressed up for the occasion!

Hiking with my friend Idel, who accompanied me on the road trip

The view was amazing! Worth braving the slight drizzle.

We had lunch by a waterfall.

What would a trip to Durban be without time at the beach? So glad the weather cleared up! It was supposed to rain most of the time we were there. Our vacation theme: How Cheap Can We Possibly Be? As my one friend says, "The beach is free!"

We visited this little place called "Mini Town." Cuteness overload.

Top of one of the World Cup stadiums - they had a cable car ride.

Friends <3

We left on Sunday and came back the Thursday before Christmas. Saturday (the 23rd) was our 2nd Sort of Annual MBH Baking Day with the nannies.

Trying out a new recipe!

Vim working hard

Grandma Higginbotham's sugar cookies

I took my friend's boys to go see the Christmas lights at a nearby attraction. They also had a Ferris wheel - the boys loved it!

Christmas was spent at three different houses. Christmas Eve was the Drews, where we had a imperfectly perfect Christmas Eve, watching cheesy movies and burning many batches of rolls in the oven that apparently only had one setting, Blazing Inferno. L and I had a lovely time, minus the roll-burning part, although I think someone letting you bake in their kitchen at midnight on Christmas Eve is one of the truest signs they've adopted you into their family!

The next day around lunchtime we moved on to my friend Amani and Natacha's flat, where we had a true African Christmas braai (cookout), complete with enough beef to completely gorge myself.

Hanging out with the kids

BRAAI!

Right around the time I was completely stuffed and lying on the grass staring lazily up at the sky, it was time to move on to the Macks' for even more food! No one ever said being single means you have to be lonely (or hungry, for that matter). I was getting a bit desperate before Christmas and inviting myself everywhere, hoping I'd be able to find someone to adopt me as their Christmas baby - haha - but I didn't expect everyone to say yes!

New Year's was a quiet Sunday evening spent eating pizza, cheesecake, and mournfully watching Vim cream me at Dutch Blitz (which I had just taught her that night).

Our babies are getting bigger! L is now not only walking, but running, except when he's crashing, as seen above (we went to one nap this month). He knows the signs for "please", "thank you", and "all done" and the signs to answer "Who made you?" (God did) and "What else did God make?" (All things.) He doesn't talk much but did say "showtime!" and "Tadiwa!" this month so I wouldn't be surprised if his language starts exploding any day!

J can now ride a bike on his own (just kidding). But really, he's huge. He weighs about as much as L, even though L is 15 months and J is 8 months. He has two teeth now. He loves to give hugs (and pull hair, and earrings - ouch!) He can sit up, roll around, and turn in a circle. He enjoys swinging, snuggles and especially FOOD!

Little Miss C is on the move! She's seven months old and rolling EVERYWHERE! She loves to kick anything within reach - be it furniture, walls, doors, or other babies. She can hold her own bottle and is eating lots of veggies - although she doesn't like peas or green beans!

Baby "R" is growing fast! She's getting really chubby. She's five months old now and has two teeth. She enjoys being held and playing on her tummy and is starting to smile and interact more. She is usually a good napper and pretty content, unless it's feeding time!

That's about all I have to share with you today - gotta wrap up some more work here while I have the chance!