Book of Lists: Ways to Show Love to Others

In the last few blog posts, I shared some of the things I have been learning during lockdown. I have been using a large blank journal/sketchbook for various forms of journaling, such as mind maps and lists. I thought I'd share another one of my lists with you today - ways to show love to others.

Love is commanded and explained in many places in the Bible...no one can argue with that.

"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:1-3

"This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you." John 15:12

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." 1 Peter 4:8

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I thought it was good to think about how we express it, because love (and lack thereof) is communicated in so many different ways, both verbal and nonverbal. It's so important to be able to communicate clearly and it helps so much in relationships if people know you care about them. And it's so easy to come across as if you don't!

And of course, love between believers brings glory to God...like in the old hymn, "they'll know we are Christians by our love." I love this version. (Except for that one verse...please don't save my pride. Help me kill it...)

Keep in mind that just because I write about these, doesn't mean I'm necessarily very good at doing them! But God is working in me to help me. I'm blessed to be in a church community where many people have done these things for ME.

Ways to Show Love to Others

Listen when they talk. Stop interrupting ideas as well as sentences. Ask questions but not too many. Try to really figure out what they want to convey.

Figure out what means the most to them and then do that. Listen hard for this and pay attention.

Ask for forgiveness when needed - and do it thoughtfully and not just to get them off my back.

Make it a point to encourage them and in general speak positively. Have less of a filter on good speech.

Keep my word.

Prioritize spending time with them.

Don't ask things of them that should only come from God. Being made into an idol is a heavy burden to bear. Making someone my everything is not love...it's a millstone.

Go out of the way to plan special things for them.

Find out what they dislike and don't do that, as much as reasonably possible.

Be patient with them. Love them over the long haul. Don't be forceful - but don't run away when things are hard or emotional.

Pray for them. Often and earnestly.

Love them even when it drains me and costs me. Love them even when it's terribly inconvenient. This doesn't mean I say "yes" to everything, but it does mean I say "yes" to some things I feel like saying "no" to. Love is not just doing what I want when I want to do it.

Believe the best about them. Don't assume the worst.

Be honest and clear when I communicate with them.

Be lighthearted and have fun sometimes - don't be heavy all the time.

Greet them like I am delighted to see them - and don't let it be fake. (This one is especially important in African culture! And it took me a long time to learn...I don't know HOW many people probably thought I was angry at them...)

Guard my tongue - from flippant, careless speech, from gossip, from complaining. Think about the consequences of my speech.

Remember to ask them about things that are important to them.

Make them food. (My friends know this is how I personally express love!)

Have them over (when we aren't on lockdown). Invite them into my life. It's probably crazy and maybe the toilet isn't clean and they'll need to help me cook and at least two people will come down to my house to ask for favors. It's worth it anyway. Having someone experience your real life with you is way more meaningful than perfect entertaining. And space doesn't need to be an issue. We've fit over 30 people in my two-bedroom house before, for Thanksgiving dinner. It was totally awesome.

Hug them, or don't, depending on what they like, and whether or not I'm supposed to stay 2 meters away from them, or 1 meter, or 1.2 meters, or 1.6 meters, or 6 feet, or...eish, I'm about ready to give up trying to figure this thing out. I miss hugging people more than just about anything else, during this lockdown.

Help them avoid sin. This may take some creativity, but it's good to have someone in your corner helping steer you away from temptation.

Think of creative ways to love them even when I'm limited (such as during lockdown). Use all means at hand.

This is just a start! I'm so thankful that as Christians we will have all of eternity to enjoy friendship with each other.